I've decided that I would try to act again. It's been a long time. I've played around with going back. It's like the mob though, you're never really out until you're really o-u-t. I've been alternately scared of and dissuaded by the climate—plus 93 other things I'll not list. A few months back, I went to my agents, told them I was having these fearsome thoughts, then thanked them for not booting me out on my ass. It's like starting from scratch--for all of us. I was 17 the first time. I was a very different person. It's taken me a long time and gruesome inner struggle to get back to where I could begin again. I know myself a lot better now.
I had my first audition today (for Paranormal Activity 5.) It was all improv and if you've seen the movies or know about the franchise you'll understand why. I enjoyed the process and the people. I had something in mind that I wanted to try. I did it hoping it was just to the side enough to make them think me both kind and kinda scary. But it might have just been weird. Sometimes I'm that. I've learned to live with and sometimes even embrace it. Thanks for not discouraging me.
I can't imagine in this circumstance, the one where I'm a middle aged woman trying to re-enter the everything-old-is-new landscape that I'm not going to find a few inspiring challenges. That's what I hope for because as much as money would/will? be nice, most of us don't really do this acting thing for the money.
"Bring on the empty horses."